and have subsequently been dealt a blow to my idealistic pursuits to some degree, not because of my inabilities but because mostly some things are impossible- I have seen and enjoyed many places during our trips and during my time here though, much more than I have regretted.
Sometimes we make decisions to change our lives, at least I do, and to challenge ourselves... I got so tired of living in Alaska, not because of the weather, but because of the isolation.
I do miss hiking here, I really do.
I am drawing again, I wanted you all to know that, and I don't expect much attention towards it, because it's been too long, but I will restructure this page into a more mature reflection of how things are now, although I think it important not to dispose of too much;
at one point I discarded a majority of my drawings (including the ones which took 6 months to draw).
Which is too bad but not really, as these things become baggage after awhile. I believe sometimes drawing can be an outlet, but otherwise I believe if shared with others should more appropriately express something desirable...rather than morale disturbances..
I am no happier than I was before, I believe I have a problem with that. Somewhere in my past horoscopes they told me I had (and this is probably bullshit) a past life where I was famous, and part of my realizations during this life was to understand that this was impossible now. I don't really know, I just think sometimes I wanted some friends, good friends like before.
Life destructs and creates, and cynicism because of the past is inevitable for me. I have tried to clean up the sludge of my past discernment and bitterness, by scraping that slime off the handlebars of my life and attempting towards the ocean shore...